The first Christmas in 3 years

What a wonderful Christmas! To me it was almost perfect. 

M called his uncle and they talked, well his uncle talked and M listened. He said 3 times how he would kill M if he had or does touch his daughter. I get that. But an uncle does not need to tell his nephew that he would kill him. M explained that it never had, he never would and he had no interest in his niece or any other child. And never had. 

Our BIL (Uncle) explained that his wife would need time and convincing. Which is exactly why we did not want them told in the first place. But that he loved and supported M and would be there for him if M ever needed it. The shocker came while we were at the family Christmas Eve gathering and our BIL shook Ms hand and gave him a hug. None of us were expecting that and M almost lost it. 

Christmas Eve was nice to see the family, if not a bit awkward especially for M. He was really nervous since this was the first time he had seen anyone in over 3 years. Overall it was pretty nice though.

Due to the weather and illness I got the Christmas I had dreamed of for years. Our immediate family was all together for the entire day. We did not have to run to the grandparents house. We got to have a relaxing casual Christmas at home. And I got to have it with all of my boys! It was perfect! One of our nephews joined us with his wife and 1 year old, we made homemade pizza and had a few drinks. We played a board game and enjoyed spending time together. 

I think it was my favorite Christmas ever.

I hope everyone that reads this has a wonderful Holiday and a blessed New Year. 

Thank you for listening to me do my thing to get through these trying times. It will not always be wonderful. There are tough times ahead I am sure. But being able to put it all down here is helpful to me and hopefully it can help others who might be going through similar issues or even help someone understand a bit more what families go through.

Drama be damned

 It turns out Christmas will actually be enjoyable this year! Through no fault of our own. 

M called his uncle who did not answer. Convenient. He left a message answering his questions and offering to answer any more if he calls back. Which of course he has not done. I really don't expect him to. 

I guess BIL had told Hubby that if he does not get a chance to talk to M that he would just confront him at Christmas. Yeah that's not gonna happen! 

We had pretty much decided we would just stay home except for Christmas at the in laws when mt MIL called and said they are postponing Christmas until New Years day because the weather, illness etc. 

So guess what? I get Christmas at home with our boys and the grandson! 

It is pretty sad that I am so excited about this turn of events. But I just can't help it. I am happy.

Ugh More Drama

 And the BILs drama continues. He finally answered a call from hubby. Then complained about all of this happening around the Holidays. Right, hubby has been calling him for 2 years!

Of course it is still our fault. Our fault that we did not confide in him right away, because of course it is all about him. He has kids so of course we were supposed to notify him right away and M was supposed to write a long letter and explain himself while in prison. And why did M plead guilty. He would have more respect for him if he had was still in prison because he fought it. And it just goes on and on but ultimately it comes down to M has destroyed the family. 

Our boys have never really liked their uncle. He has never been the kind of uncle that they would have looked up to. Every family gathering he would cause some sort of drama by arguing with people or in the case of our boys, yelling at them. He told our oldest once that he was embarrassed to share the same last name. He screamed and yelled at him for smoking while his own wife smoked. He softened slightly when he had his own kids but by that time the damage was done. 

In contrast our M and J are the fun uncles. C comes over and the two of them play with him all day. C loves his uncles and I think he visits just so he can play with them! 

M is going to call his uncle today. He is not going to "explain himself" or beg forgiveness but offer to answer any questions BIL may have, which has been offered to anyone that knows. And a few of the family have actually called to talk to him and ask questions. 

M had a couple of drinks last night. We all did. 

Guess it might be a quiet Christmas spent at home again. 

Decorating

 It has been over 6 years since M has been home to decorate for Christmas. 3 inside and 3 in the military. Yesterday he got to help decorate the tree. 

I had my moments. When I hung the ornaments from my Daddys tree for the first time and when I hung the ornament that my biological father gave me, both now gone. 

But it was good. 

It will not always be easy but for now my heart is full.