2024

 Another year has come and gone. There were triumphs and scares amidst the daily blessings. 

The largest triumph and scare being Rs aortic aneurism. I hope to never have to live through that again. But then again, seeing the work of God and the true miracle of life was worth it. We have learned a lot since then and we have learned to not take anything for granted. God is Good!

Ms dating hit a roadblock when the girl he was seeing went back to college and home. We knew it could not possibly work out, because of her living so far away and still being in college but we had hope for M because he really liked her. For now the dating apps are closed and he is working hard at his job where he was just made a custom carpenter after less than a year of working there. Things are looking up!

J is holding out on proposing to his girlfriend for now after a slight falling out with her parents. It really would not change much. LOL! We already consider her a daughter and she thinks of us as in-laws. He is starting to be disillusioned with his job after seeing how well M is treated at his job. Js Christmas bonus was pretty small and he does not feel like he is making enough money. I think the sheet metal apprenticeship will be a good thing but he is not very patient! 

RJ and A are making things work. Their marriage is certainly not what we would have wanted for him, but he is making is work. The new baby is absolutely adorable and C is as spoiled as ever. We took C to the Creation museum and the Ark over the Holiday's and he loved them both. At the Ark he started asking questions about God and Jesus, which surprised us since RJ has renounced his belief and is very vocal about it, but it was great to see and hear Cs excitement about Jesus. So there is hope. 

I am looking forward to seeing what the year ahead has for in store for us. Praying for good things! I know there are a few people who read my rambles here and I appreciate the support! I want to wish you a Happy and Blessed New Year! 

Another Mothers Day in the Books

 And why some people should not drink!

It was good. I guess too good to be true. 

We decided to invite the family to a grill out. Casual, nothing fancy. More people ended up coming than we thought and it was still fine. We had a good time. Hung out on the deck. Had a couple of drinks, nothing major. We laughed we talked. The kids had a blast playing together in what seemed to have been forever. My BIL even came with his kids (Not the wife, she wanted alone time). 

It was good. 

My BIL was the last to leave. He had gotten sillier and sillier and I really had not paid attention until everyone else was gone. He had brought two bottles of booze, one for me for mothers day and one to drink, fine. Well what we did not realize is that he had almost finished off a fifth of gin by himself. At one point we thought/assumed that he had switched to water. We were wrong. His daughter actually took his last two drinks from him, which he did not seem to notice. 

The kids had never seen their father drunk, so this was new to them. Our niece just told her younger brothers that he had to much silly juice and little kids that they are they did not think much of it. We got the kids settled down to watch a movie and BIL passed out in a chair. Sunday was a school night of course and it was getting late. So hubby and I decided that I would drive BILs car with the kids since that is where their car seats were and take them home and Hubby would follow with BIL in our car. This way if he got sick the kids would not see it. 

I left with the kids while Hubby and M got BIL into our car. He fought and screamed that I was taking his children away from him. They finally got him in the car. He cussed out his brother, my husband, tried to get out of the car while it was moving, screamed and yelled and threatened to kill my husband and also cried about how he wanted to die and what a terrible father he was. This happened the entire way to his house. He apparently called me every name in the book because I was "taking his kids from him". They arrived after I did. He brushed past me saying he would never see me again, kicked their dog and slammed into the garage to pass out.

Happy Mothers Day to me. Sigh

I am not sure what we could/should have done differently. Our SIL is the one who has not been speaking to us but even she feels bad. I messaged her this morning asking if he was okay and she said he did not even remember last night. So I made sure to tell her. 

It's just not worth it. To have a great day go to shit like that. I am not sure he could apologize enough to make me want to see him again. Hubby feels the same.  

I'm done. 

The first Christmas in 3 years

What a wonderful Christmas! To me it was almost perfect. 

M called his uncle and they talked, well his uncle talked and M listened. He said 3 times how he would kill M if he had or does touch his daughter. I get that. But an uncle does not need to tell his nephew that he would kill him. M explained that it never had, he never would and he had no interest in his niece or any other child. And never had. 

Our BIL (Uncle) explained that his wife would need time and convincing. Which is exactly why we did not want them told in the first place. But that he loved and supported M and would be there for him if M ever needed it. The shocker came while we were at the family Christmas Eve gathering and our BIL shook Ms hand and gave him a hug. None of us were expecting that and M almost lost it. 

Christmas Eve was nice to see the family, if not a bit awkward especially for M. He was really nervous since this was the first time he had seen anyone in over 3 years. Overall it was pretty nice though.

Due to the weather and illness I got the Christmas I had dreamed of for years. Our immediate family was all together for the entire day. We did not have to run to the grandparents house. We got to have a relaxing casual Christmas at home. And I got to have it with all of my boys! It was perfect! One of our nephews joined us with his wife and 1 year old, we made homemade pizza and had a few drinks. We played a board game and enjoyed spending time together. 

I think it was my favorite Christmas ever.

I hope everyone that reads this has a wonderful Holiday and a blessed New Year. 

Thank you for listening to me do my thing to get through these trying times. It will not always be wonderful. There are tough times ahead I am sure. But being able to put it all down here is helpful to me and hopefully it can help others who might be going through similar issues or even help someone understand a bit more what families go through.

Ugh More Drama

 And the BILs drama continues. He finally answered a call from hubby. Then complained about all of this happening around the Holidays. Right, hubby has been calling him for 2 years!

Of course it is still our fault. Our fault that we did not confide in him right away, because of course it is all about him. He has kids so of course we were supposed to notify him right away and M was supposed to write a long letter and explain himself while in prison. And why did M plead guilty. He would have more respect for him if he had was still in prison because he fought it. And it just goes on and on but ultimately it comes down to M has destroyed the family. 

Our boys have never really liked their uncle. He has never been the kind of uncle that they would have looked up to. Every family gathering he would cause some sort of drama by arguing with people or in the case of our boys, yelling at them. He told our oldest once that he was embarrassed to share the same last name. He screamed and yelled at him for smoking while his own wife smoked. He softened slightly when he had his own kids but by that time the damage was done. 

In contrast our M and J are the fun uncles. C comes over and the two of them play with him all day. C loves his uncles and I think he visits just so he can play with them! 

M is going to call his uncle today. He is not going to "explain himself" or beg forgiveness but offer to answer any questions BIL may have, which has been offered to anyone that knows. And a few of the family have actually called to talk to him and ask questions. 

M had a couple of drinks last night. We all did. 

Guess it might be a quiet Christmas spent at home again. 

Decorating

 It has been over 6 years since M has been home to decorate for Christmas. 3 inside and 3 in the military. Yesterday he got to help decorate the tree. 

I had my moments. When I hung the ornaments from my Daddys tree for the first time and when I hung the ornament that my biological father gave me, both now gone. 

But it was good. 

It will not always be easy but for now my heart is full. 

Family Drama

 So tired of entitled family members who think that what M did is all about them. 

I am so tired of my MIL trying to fix the issues with us and my BIL and his wife. Apparently we are the ones that need to contact them and explain (AGAIN) about M and reassure them. We are the ones who should reach out to them. We are the ones that should invite them to Thanksgiving so that they can confront M. Because it is all about them.

Right Not Happening

This did not impact them in any way. This does not change their lives. They did not lose a son for 3 years. They are not the ones who have had to explain this to people. They did not spend months in tears. They did not have to turn their lives upside down when he came home. 

They are the ones who told us they would support M and us. They were the ones who turned their backs on us and then told their 10 year old daughter to fear M. They were the ones to stop taking our calls. They are the ones who give us the cold shoulder at family get togethers. 

Yet we are the ones that have to console them.

Fuck that. I'm done with them. If they want a relationship with us they need to reach out to us. 

I'm done

A normal Mothers Day?

 I am not sure I know what would be considered normal anymore! But I think this Mothers Day would probably be considered more normal than not. 

It was good. I enjoyed it. I think this was the first Mothers Day that I have ever really enjoyed. There was no pressure or guilt or stress. 

All three of our sons were here. It's the first time in over 6 years that I have had all three boys over for mothers day. The youngest called off work so he could spend the day with us. My mother and Hubbys mother both came by and spent the day. 

And it was good.