So far so good

 As we get further into all of this I see that I have much to be grateful for. 

M is home and that is a wonderful thing. He has gotten us back into playing board games and D&D. He plays card games and hangs out with his younger brother J. 

There was one dramatic episode a few weeks ago but it was not due to him, it was actually J who started it. 

Ms therapy is going well. He and the doctor talk about everything, but does not feel that M is a threat so tells him all of the time that he does not even know why M is there. 

The new PO is hands off, which is good. She stopped by his work and met his boss, who is a close friend of ours. 

There are a couple of things. The main one being that he has to get permission for just about everything. He is not permitted to go to anything where there might be a minor attending without the PO calling and talking to everyone involved. And we don't want to get people involved in that. Last week our nephew asked us to watch his 1 year old last minute and M had to stay in his room because he does not have permission to be around the baby. It's frustrating because he calls his room his cell sometimes. I have noticed he keeps his door open all of time unless he is sleeping. 

M is really feeling frustrated that he is still not allowed certain game machines that connect virtually. He is a big gamer and says that he actually had more freedoms in prison when it comes to that. 

He had his poly a couple of weeks ago and it went fine. It was not the history that everyone had warned us about but it was still stressful. He was congested and the guy told him to not sniffle because it would change the readings, so M tried to alter his breathing to not sniffle and the guy told him not to do that either! 

There are only 4 months left. I am truly grateful he did not get a long probation like so many do. 

All in all we are doing ok and getting through this together. 

Hugs

One of the things I miss the most about M is his hugs. He was always the most affectionate child. Always ready with a huge hug and an "I love you Mom". As a baby he was the sleep one who would snuggle close and fall asleep in my arms. He would just climb into my lap for snuggles at random times.

Our oldest and youngest are not like that. LOL! 

Our oldest is a rare one to give a hug and never initiates it. He was the baby who would twist and turn and push away from you even at birth. He gives side hugs and is much more serious. He is so much like his father.

Our youngest is a bit different. He is highly empathetic and emotional. But he tries to hide it. He hates that he is so emotional. When he was little he would yell at us if his brothers got in trouble. He has never been that terribly affectionate but would tolerate a hug. 

There has been a change in our youngest this past year. J will often walk up to me and ask if I want a hug! This is so unlike him. I am wondering if M said something to him. Or if his empathy knows that Mom just needs a hug.  

He gives huge hugs like M. 

I like this change in him.