Eh

So normally this is a fun week. Or at least a decent one. And this should have been a GREAT week. Instead Mother's Day, our 30th wedding anniversary and my birthday have all gone by with the blink of an eye. Sigh

Yes I am whining. I am complaining. I am sad. 

I know I really have nothing to be upset about. God has watched over us and somehow as usual has made good out of the bad. We are surviving. We are paying our bills. 

But I think sometimes we are allowed to feel a bit sorry for ourselves. For the loss of our normal lives. For the losses of others, like high school seniors who are missing their senior year. For the weddings that are being postponed and heaven forbid cancelled. For the hugs and hand holding that cannot happen right now. 

And right now I am feeling sorry for myself. 

My 30th wedding anniversary. That's a big one. We spent it home with chinese take out and champagne and Netflix. 

Mother's Day the kids all called, even M. I got a hug from the youngest. And called my mom. 

My birthday...well that is today. I am up early as usual. I do not expect much other than a phone call and  my Facebook blowing up with well wishes. 

I should be grateful for all that I have. 

But instead I am sad for what I am missing. I am crying over nothing. 

Social Distancing sucks

Socially Distant

Funny how the media is calling this the "New Normal". This is mostly our normal normal.
I read on social media about parents complaining about their kids being home and how they can't handle being around their spouses 24/7, people buying puppies because they have time for them now and it makes me sad.
Why did you get married if you can't stand to spend time with your spouse?
Why did you have kids if you can't handle being a parent?
If you did not have time for a puppy prior to the virus what makes you think you will have the time in a month when you go back to work?
All of this makes me realize that I am a bit different from normal people. I am a pro at social distancing. I like being home and shopping online. I don't mind only going to the grocery when I need to. I like meeting with my potential clients via Skype vs in person.
I like being around my husband. I like spending time with him even when we are just sitting on our laptops not talking, just being.
We have a dog because we work from home all but one or two days a week. Not because we have time now, but because we always have time.
I like seeing our grandson once a week and when our kids were young we worked from home, so we were with them all the time. To the point that they still enjoy being around us.
People complain about all of the things that we have enjoyed for the past 30 years. They don't get that this is how it should be!
You should love being around your spouse all of the time.
You should love being around your kids all of the time.
You should have pets when you have time to devote to them all of the time.
I know we are mostly social creatures but I think the priorities of this world have changed from being family insular to being socially outward.
Maybe this will remind people of what is really important.
Our families

Social Distancing

The news reporters have been using my term..."The New Normal". Social distancing is the new normal for the rest of the population. I feel like we have been in  social distancing mode for awhile now. Trying to stay just far enough away from friends and family so that they don't ask questions.
Personally I am fine with this "new normal", it keeps me from having to make excuses.
I have been forcing myself to interact with people. To do things I would not normally do. Yesterday I did creative video of our churches worship so that it could be shown via the internet for service. We have not been to church in such a long time because hubby has been working. Normally I don't like doing video, but I enjoyed the challenge. And it got me out of the house and involved in prayer with the band.
I think as much as I would deny it, I need some social interaction. My problem is that I only want to do it on my own terms. Most people are probably like that. I doubt I am any different. Except that I have to force myself to do it. I really did not want to go film at church yesterday, but I enjoyed it while I was there.
M is upbeat as usual. I don't know how he does it. Actually I take that back, he is me in a different body and it is normally hard to keep me down. He got a job in the woodshop. It was what he was wanting to do. He was pretty much a shoe in. He has always enjoyed working with his hands so this is really kind of perfect. He will be learning cabinetry and furniture building. I only hope it translates to a decent job when he comes home.
The letters for his clemency hearing have been sent. I almost wish we had not asked his grandparents to write letters. My FIL is such a...well...I really don't know how to describe him. He made a statement in his letter that he would "need to be watchful of M's behavior and influence." and that if "necessary, confront him is issues arise"
DOES HE NOT KNOW HIS GRANDSON????
I just want to scream! I hope M does not even use it. I am so upset with how cold the letter comes across. This is the same man when we sat and waited for them to take M away sat in silence and when M asked him if he had anything to say, hoping for support, said "I have said all I needed to say"
Hubby has not seen the letter. I photographed it before sending it yesterday, because they were late and we needed to get them to M in time. I am not sure I want him to see it. Our relationship with my FIL has been strained for a few years now due to various issues and I don't see this as a way to repair it.
Maybe I am wrong. Lets hope I am wrong.