5 months
On one hand it is almost half a year on the other hand it is remarkably close. 5 months and he will be home.
M had another parole hearing and it was denied. It still has to go to the government of course but we really don't think he will get it. Even without parole he will be released in 5 months. The prospect is scary as well as sad and happy.
Happy because we get to see him for the first time in almost 3 years (Other than 1 video call a couple of months ago). And we miss him. I miss his excellent hugs and his cheerfulness.
Scary because of the unknown. We know so little of how we will be impacted by him being home. And what we do know scares us.
Sad because of the loss of his future. Or at least the future he should have had if he had not done something so incredibly stupid.
He sad the other day that he would probably never get married. This is the son who wanted to get married and have a ton of kids. I am hoping he can have a more normal life and find someone who will accept him.
It is all coming back again. I had been able to ignore the inevitable for awhile and now it is so close. I am not quite sure what to do.
