Reminders

I was browsing through posts of an old blog I used to write. I was actually looking for a different post that was coming to mind, but my eyes fell here. I know this to be true, because even in the worst of times, even when we think that God is not there, how could he possibly be, he makes Himself known. Maybe not in the big ways that we would like, but in small ways, like being able to pay the bills. Like work coming in when so many others do not have any. Like staying healthy in times of a pandemic. In small reminders like old writings coming to mind. He is here. Always.

"Today Psalm 121 found me. I say found me, because I was not looking for anything in particular, I was browsing when my eyes stopped. I don't take that for granted. Obviously I was meant to stop. 

Sometimes we need a reminder that He is watching over us.  Sometimes we need a reminder that He is here. Miracles do actually still happen. It is just that our faith is lacking to see them. 

He is here"

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

    where does my help come from?

2 

My help comes from the Lord,

    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 

He will not let your foot slip—

    he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 

indeed, he who watches over Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 

The Lord watches over you—

    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

6 

the sun will not harm you by day,

    nor the moon by night.

7 

The Lord will keep you from all harm—

    he will watch over your life;

8 

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

    both now and forevermore.

Cathartic

So I told someone. Someone not family.
I am still terrified that she will tell someone. But I want to start trusting again. I need to be able to trust someone other than Hubby.
I have never had close friends other than hubby. I have always had trust issues and I am also pretty much an introvert. It has always been difficult for me to get close to anyone.
We have always been incredibly close and codependent on each other. That is how we have been able to run a business together for 30 years. And it is enough. It has always been enough. It will always be enough.
I see women who have multiple close friends and there is a bit of envy. But there is also a sense of relief that I do not have to deal with so many peoples issues! I know I am not like most women. I don't understand them.
A and I are not alike at all. She is loud and outgoing and I am not! When we first met I was annoyed at how outgoing and friendly and talkative she was. We are alike in ways that I think are important though. She loves and trusts and respects her husband. She cares for her grandkids as I do. Her family is important to her. I hate talking on the phone but we can talk for over an hour and I am not frustrated by it.
And some reason I feel like she is one of my closest friends. I feel like I can tell her anything and she won't judge me. I feel like I can trust her. I hope and pray that I am right.