So I told someone. Someone not family.
I am still terrified that she will tell someone. But I want to start trusting again. I need to be able to trust someone other than Hubby.
I have never had close friends other than hubby. I have always had trust issues and I am also pretty much an introvert. It has always been difficult for me to get close to anyone.
We have always been incredibly close and codependent on each other. That is how we have been able to run a business together for 30 years. And it is enough. It has always been enough. It will always be enough.
I see women who have multiple close friends and there is a bit of envy. But there is also a sense of relief that I do not have to deal with so many peoples issues! I know I am not like most women. I don't understand them.
A and I are not alike at all. She is loud and outgoing and I am not! When we first met I was annoyed at how outgoing and friendly and talkative she was. We are alike in ways that I think are important though. She loves and trusts and respects her husband. She cares for her grandkids as I do. Her family is important to her. I hate talking on the phone but we can talk for over an hour and I am not frustrated by it.
And some reason I feel like she is one of my closest friends. I feel like I can tell her anything and she won't judge me. I feel like I can trust her. I hope and pray that I am right.
Congrats on that milestone and the courage to do it! I pray it will lead to support for you.
ReplyDeleteHi, thinking of you guys and hope you're doing OK this Easter.
ReplyDeleteYou inspired me to start a blog too. A lot of the things I'm posting I wrote last year while our story was starting to play out. I'm trying to share some things I learned without being specific enough to betray my kids' confidentiality. Check it out if you want https://thoughtfullnet.wordpress.com/blog-2/
I hope you are having a good Easter as well! Ours is quiet :)
DeleteI am glad you started sharing and putting out there. It does help.