Small moments of Normal

Having the two younger boys at home has been an adventure. It is nice to see them hanging out playing video games and talking. M moved out when J was still in high school so they never really had the chance to hang out. On the 4th of July one of thier cousins came over and they were even playing foosball which they have not done in years. 

 I catch myself listening to them talk like normal brothers. 

 We went to the movies together the other day and they acted like teenagers throwing everything from the back seat at each other and just horsing around.

 M got to visit the lake with us a couple of weeks ago and commented that it almost felt normal.

 Almost normal. 

 A little over 100 days left until it can go to the "new normal". I am really not sure what that looks like but it has to be better than now. Right? I guess I feel bad that there are still things he can't do because of MSR. I know there is a lot he will not be able to do even once he off of it, but its the little things. 

Soon

So far so good

 As we get further into all of this I see that I have much to be grateful for. 

M is home and that is a wonderful thing. He has gotten us back into playing board games and D&D. He plays card games and hangs out with his younger brother J. 

There was one dramatic episode a few weeks ago but it was not due to him, it was actually J who started it. 

Ms therapy is going well. He and the doctor talk about everything, but does not feel that M is a threat so tells him all of the time that he does not even know why M is there. 

The new PO is hands off, which is good. She stopped by his work and met his boss, who is a close friend of ours. 

There are a couple of things. The main one being that he has to get permission for just about everything. He is not permitted to go to anything where there might be a minor attending without the PO calling and talking to everyone involved. And we don't want to get people involved in that. Last week our nephew asked us to watch his 1 year old last minute and M had to stay in his room because he does not have permission to be around the baby. It's frustrating because he calls his room his cell sometimes. I have noticed he keeps his door open all of time unless he is sleeping. 

M is really feeling frustrated that he is still not allowed certain game machines that connect virtually. He is a big gamer and says that he actually had more freedoms in prison when it comes to that. 

He had his poly a couple of weeks ago and it went fine. It was not the history that everyone had warned us about but it was still stressful. He was congested and the guy told him to not sniffle because it would change the readings, so M tried to alter his breathing to not sniffle and the guy told him not to do that either! 

There are only 4 months left. I am truly grateful he did not get a long probation like so many do. 

All in all we are doing ok and getting through this together. 

Two steps forward One step back

 Ms PO stopped by this morning. 8:30 AM. 

Lovely. 

Half the house is not even up yet, including M. She brings another PO with her. Apparently this will be Ms new PO. 

Wonderful. 

This new PO seems to be even more of a stickler. 

Great.

His Roku TV that had been approved my his original PO is not approved by the new PO because it has YouTube on it. So back to the drawing board. We don't have cable. 

Peeing in a cup is apparently a monthly thing. 

Surprise.

His polygraph is next week. I know he is stressed about it. 

6 months. There is only 6 months left. Then we can be done with this stupidity. 

Home

 M came home last Monday. It has been a whirlwind of a week. 

His PO is moving everything quickly. He met with her the next morning, then went to register and then she came by the house. 

It is all a lot to unpack. It is all a lot of stress. M feels guilty for everything. He apologizes constantly.

Understandably he is not allowed to have access to any internet. At least for now. So all of our computers and phones are password protected. He is really good about it, he wont even look at a screen. He is able to have a tv as long as it is a ROKU and even a game system as long as it can't connect online, old Xbox for the win. Which means he is pretty happy. He is catching up on shows and thoroughly nerding out, playing card games with his brother. The two of them have been to the comic book store 3 times in as many days. 

Unfortunately his counselor inside was mistaken and he did have to register for life since his crime was done in another state. We had been told that because he was military the location did not matter. I am not sure if he would have had a lesser registry time anyway because of the 2 counts. 

It is nice having him home. It is stressful having him home. 

We are learning of certain family members who were supportive before who have now decided differently. We have always been kind of the black sheep of the family. We live about an hour away from everyone. So we are really not terribly crushed by it, but it is disappointing. M is feeling guilty about it. He has offered to move away and of course we are not having it. He is our son and we will support him no matter what. 

I can't imagine telling him he can not stay here. Where would he go? 

He told me once that he hated the military because he was alone. He has always been extremely social and he thought there would be comradery. He is not a big drinker but that is all his friends wanted to do. So he was lonely. He was open to advances. And that is what got him in trouble. 

Fortunately his probation or MSR (Mandatory Supervised Release) is for only 8 months. His PO seems nice enough and goes by the book. We will see.