Thanksgiving 2.0

 Thanksgiving has come and gone and it was surprisingly nice. The only fault I have with it is that our oldest and his wife were not here. 

M got his first real Thanksgiving in over 4 years. Last Thanksgiving they ran out of food at the brig so he had mashed potato's. This year I made everything he loves and made sure he got plenty! 

In years past we have had the entire family of 30+ people over. This year I decided we were going small. Due to the flu we went from 6 to 12, but I am ok with that. We had a relaxing day, too much to eat and time out by the fire with drinks before cutting into the pies. M had his first drink in 3 years! 

It was good. 

Family Drama

 So tired of entitled family members who think that what M did is all about them. 

I am so tired of my MIL trying to fix the issues with us and my BIL and his wife. Apparently we are the ones that need to contact them and explain (AGAIN) about M and reassure them. We are the ones who should reach out to them. We are the ones that should invite them to Thanksgiving so that they can confront M. Because it is all about them.

Right Not Happening

This did not impact them in any way. This does not change their lives. They did not lose a son for 3 years. They are not the ones who have had to explain this to people. They did not spend months in tears. They did not have to turn their lives upside down when he came home. 

They are the ones who told us they would support M and us. They were the ones who turned their backs on us and then told their 10 year old daughter to fear M. They were the ones to stop taking our calls. They are the ones who give us the cold shoulder at family get togethers. 

Yet we are the ones that have to console them.

Fuck that. I'm done with them. If they want a relationship with us they need to reach out to us. 

I'm done

Assholes and Consequences

 M woke up yesterday morning to a post on FB from someone he knew in high school. She had shared a screenshot of a local person who they had gone to high school with on the registry. "Just making sure everyone is aware" 

A rude wake up call and a bit disconcerting for M. 

He can never get away from the label and will always be branded as an SO. Worse than a murderer. The lowest of the low. He will always be persecuted for a mistake he made when he was alone and tempted by someone who he thought was a legal aged girl. He will never be able to have an easy/normal relationship without having to explain himself. 

His life is forever changed. 

Finally

 Probation is officially over on the 11th. But his PO stopped by and said goodbye and have a good life on the 1st. I came home to M drinking a beer! LOL The relief was palpable. There are still a lot of unknowns right now with the actual registry and how difficult it will make some things. But the fear of making a mistake and being sent back is gone. The fear and constant looking over his/our shoulders is gone. 

No this does not mean smooth sailing from here on out. There will and is still a lot to contend with. There is still family who can not forgive. He will still be labled as an SO for the rest of his life. But for now we can breath.