Life in general

Fortunately life moves on. 

For M, his life will never be the same. But he is getting on with it. He got together with a couple of high school friends a few weeks ago and had a chance to relax. He is enjoying his job and is making friends there. He joined a D&D group which is expected to start playing in the next couple of weeks. 

He is conscious of having to repost to the state police every 3 months and even has a reminder on his phone so he does not forget. 

He says he will never find a woman who will accept him and I hope that is not the case. I know there is a nerdy girl out there who will love and accept him for all of his flaws and mistakes. At least I hope that is true. 

He is still pretty nervous about getting out and meeting people. He is afraid of them finding out and not being accepted. 

Family is, well, difficult at best. My BIL has kind of sort of accepted M. He has told M that he should call my SIL (his wife) and apologize. Which is absolutely insane and NOT happening! So family get togethers are minimal to non existent, which honestly I am fine with. 

In good news, we found out that we will be getting a new grandson in a few months! We were pretty surprised since our oldest and his wife have not been able to get pregnant and determined it would just not happen. We are thrilled! Of course! 

Easter is this weekend. I am reminded that this is a season of rebirth and growth. God is good. Always. 

Job update

 The background check came back today and they are keeping him! Thank you Lord! 

M loves this job. He says he is doing exactly what he wants to do. 

The only bad part is he has to register in another state now since the job is across state lines. 

Jobs

 I have read about the difficulty for SOs being able to find/keep jobs. M has been fortunate in that we have a close friend who knows about Ms situation and he rehabs houses and pools. So M has been hired on to do day labor work while on probation. In a bit of coincidence his PO actually knew this friend of ours so she was totally OK with M working for him even if it was not the most regular work. 

Since M has been off paper (probation) he has been chomping at the bit to find a regular job. He applied at a few places and actually was called for a couple of interviews. One of the jobs is for cabinet making which is what he was trained for while he was at Charleston. He was hired on the spot! 

They do know about his federal conviction and they are doing a background check. Now comes the waiting. We know of SOs who have been fired upon the background check results, even after having worked for a week or so. I hope M makes enough of a good impression that they will keep him! He is not getting his hopes up yet. And he is prepared for the results to not be good. 

Prayers!

The first Christmas in 3 years

What a wonderful Christmas! To me it was almost perfect. 

M called his uncle and they talked, well his uncle talked and M listened. He said 3 times how he would kill M if he had or does touch his daughter. I get that. But an uncle does not need to tell his nephew that he would kill him. M explained that it never had, he never would and he had no interest in his niece or any other child. And never had. 

Our BIL (Uncle) explained that his wife would need time and convincing. Which is exactly why we did not want them told in the first place. But that he loved and supported M and would be there for him if M ever needed it. The shocker came while we were at the family Christmas Eve gathering and our BIL shook Ms hand and gave him a hug. None of us were expecting that and M almost lost it. 

Christmas Eve was nice to see the family, if not a bit awkward especially for M. He was really nervous since this was the first time he had seen anyone in over 3 years. Overall it was pretty nice though.

Due to the weather and illness I got the Christmas I had dreamed of for years. Our immediate family was all together for the entire day. We did not have to run to the grandparents house. We got to have a relaxing casual Christmas at home. And I got to have it with all of my boys! It was perfect! One of our nephews joined us with his wife and 1 year old, we made homemade pizza and had a few drinks. We played a board game and enjoyed spending time together. 

I think it was my favorite Christmas ever.

I hope everyone that reads this has a wonderful Holiday and a blessed New Year. 

Thank you for listening to me do my thing to get through these trying times. It will not always be wonderful. There are tough times ahead I am sure. But being able to put it all down here is helpful to me and hopefully it can help others who might be going through similar issues or even help someone understand a bit more what families go through.

Drama be damned

 It turns out Christmas will actually be enjoyable this year! Through no fault of our own. 

M called his uncle who did not answer. Convenient. He left a message answering his questions and offering to answer any more if he calls back. Which of course he has not done. I really don't expect him to. 

I guess BIL had told Hubby that if he does not get a chance to talk to M that he would just confront him at Christmas. Yeah that's not gonna happen! 

We had pretty much decided we would just stay home except for Christmas at the in laws when mt MIL called and said they are postponing Christmas until New Years day because the weather, illness etc. 

So guess what? I get Christmas at home with our boys and the grandson! 

It is pretty sad that I am so excited about this turn of events. But I just can't help it. I am happy.

Ugh More Drama

 And the BILs drama continues. He finally answered a call from hubby. Then complained about all of this happening around the Holidays. Right, hubby has been calling him for 2 years!

Of course it is still our fault. Our fault that we did not confide in him right away, because of course it is all about him. He has kids so of course we were supposed to notify him right away and M was supposed to write a long letter and explain himself while in prison. And why did M plead guilty. He would have more respect for him if he had was still in prison because he fought it. And it just goes on and on but ultimately it comes down to M has destroyed the family. 

Our boys have never really liked their uncle. He has never been the kind of uncle that they would have looked up to. Every family gathering he would cause some sort of drama by arguing with people or in the case of our boys, yelling at them. He told our oldest once that he was embarrassed to share the same last name. He screamed and yelled at him for smoking while his own wife smoked. He softened slightly when he had his own kids but by that time the damage was done. 

In contrast our M and J are the fun uncles. C comes over and the two of them play with him all day. C loves his uncles and I think he visits just so he can play with them! 

M is going to call his uncle today. He is not going to "explain himself" or beg forgiveness but offer to answer any questions BIL may have, which has been offered to anyone that knows. And a few of the family have actually called to talk to him and ask questions. 

M had a couple of drinks last night. We all did. 

Guess it might be a quiet Christmas spent at home again. 

Decorating

 It has been over 6 years since M has been home to decorate for Christmas. 3 inside and 3 in the military. Yesterday he got to help decorate the tree. 

I had my moments. When I hung the ornaments from my Daddys tree for the first time and when I hung the ornament that my biological father gave me, both now gone. 

But it was good. 

It will not always be easy but for now my heart is full.