Thanksgiving 2.0

 Thanksgiving has come and gone and it was surprisingly nice. The only fault I have with it is that our oldest and his wife were not here. 

M got his first real Thanksgiving in over 4 years. Last Thanksgiving they ran out of food at the brig so he had mashed potato's. This year I made everything he loves and made sure he got plenty! 

In years past we have had the entire family of 30+ people over. This year I decided we were going small. Due to the flu we went from 6 to 12, but I am ok with that. We had a relaxing day, too much to eat and time out by the fire with drinks before cutting into the pies. M had his first drink in 3 years! 

It was good. 

Family Drama

 So tired of entitled family members who think that what M did is all about them. 

I am so tired of my MIL trying to fix the issues with us and my BIL and his wife. Apparently we are the ones that need to contact them and explain (AGAIN) about M and reassure them. We are the ones who should reach out to them. We are the ones that should invite them to Thanksgiving so that they can confront M. Because it is all about them.

Right Not Happening

This did not impact them in any way. This does not change their lives. They did not lose a son for 3 years. They are not the ones who have had to explain this to people. They did not spend months in tears. They did not have to turn their lives upside down when he came home. 

They are the ones who told us they would support M and us. They were the ones who turned their backs on us and then told their 10 year old daughter to fear M. They were the ones to stop taking our calls. They are the ones who give us the cold shoulder at family get togethers. 

Yet we are the ones that have to console them.

Fuck that. I'm done with them. If they want a relationship with us they need to reach out to us. 

I'm done

Assholes and Consequences

 M woke up yesterday morning to a post on FB from someone he knew in high school. She had shared a screenshot of a local person who they had gone to high school with on the registry. "Just making sure everyone is aware" 

A rude wake up call and a bit disconcerting for M. 

He can never get away from the label and will always be branded as an SO. Worse than a murderer. The lowest of the low. He will always be persecuted for a mistake he made when he was alone and tempted by someone who he thought was a legal aged girl. He will never be able to have an easy/normal relationship without having to explain himself. 

His life is forever changed. 

Finally

 Probation is officially over on the 11th. But his PO stopped by and said goodbye and have a good life on the 1st. I came home to M drinking a beer! LOL The relief was palpable. There are still a lot of unknowns right now with the actual registry and how difficult it will make some things. But the fear of making a mistake and being sent back is gone. The fear and constant looking over his/our shoulders is gone. 

No this does not mean smooth sailing from here on out. There will and is still a lot to contend with. There is still family who can not forgive. He will still be labled as an SO for the rest of his life. But for now we can breath.

Mentaly Exhausted

 I am just so tired of explaining over and over and over again that M is not a threat. To the same damn people. To his brother to my MIL to those who know who M is. 

HE IS NOT A THREAT! 

I am just tired. 

Again and Again and Again

 The constant rehashing of what M did. 

It seems to never end. Even with those who have been in the "know" since the begining. 

Now that the holidays are around the corner it begins all over again because certain people have declared that M is a danger and do not want to be around him. The same people who were supportive in the begining. 

I feel like we have to explain it over and over to the same people constantly. 

People Suck

 I got a call from someone claiming to be a State Police Sargent. He left a message saying he need to get in touch with M. M had just checked his phone and had recieved a text message after a missed call with the same message. 

He gets on the phone with them and they claim that he had missed a "meeting" and there was a federal arrest warrent issued for him. They had sent notice of this "meeting" via certified mail and it was signed as having been recieved. He denied ever recieving anything and they said he needed to come to the state police department to sign a card front and back to prove he did not sign it. Then he needed to pay 10% of a PR bond $4500 that would be refunded if he was proven correct. 

They tell him he has to stay on the phone with them. He is in panic mode so Hubby says he will go with him since M can't drive, stay on the phone and look at directions at the same time. They tell us that no one is allowed to go with him. That does not fly of course. They tell us that we are not allowed to go and loiter in the parking lot to which we tell them that we will drop M and go to Walmart or somewhere else to wait for him. 

They get to the bank so that M can get the cash while I am contacting his PO and asking about it on Reddit. Now that Hubby is going they change their tune. Now they want him to deposit the money in a kiosk nearby and come down to the police station with a statement from the kiosk. They tell M that if he does not come by with the statement that he will be arrested on site. 

I get on the phone with the police department they orriginally wanted him to go to and am told that everything is done through the courts that the police will never ask for cash. I let M and Hubby know and this but M of course is still worried about the potential warrent for his arrest. I call the police again and she says that she cannot tell me if there is a warrent but after looking his name up tells me it is 100% a scam. 

M tells the guy on the phone. They tell M that if he does not come by with the statement that he will be arrested on site. We are 90% sure it is a scam at this point but there is still the fear of a warrent so they go by our local police department. They reassure him that there is no warrent. 

All of this time Ms phone keeps disconnecting from the scammers. While they were leaving the police department the scammer calls back and M takes the phone inside and offeres it to the police officer he had just been talking to. Click.

They drove by the location of the kiosk that they wanted him to deposit the money into and it was a Bitcoin machine in the back of a gas station. 

Lesson learned but now we are all ready for a drink.