MJ has a parole hearing today. This is the first step to him coming home potentially this spring. Which means it is all becoming real what we will be faced with living with him being on the registry. The impact on our lives is becoming more and more real.
I have spent the last few months trying to remove myself from it all. At least for a little while. To try to live a semi normal life with Hubby working nights and trying to work through a pandemic and being alone most of the time. It is all mentally draining and thinking about the impact of when MJ comes home is just more than I can/could bear.
A couple of weeks ago MJ asked me to contact the local police and try to get a letter confirming that he could legally live here. My bubble of mental wellness has been officially broken. It is all real again. The talks with family discussing it all have begun again. Because family who told us they were supportive suddenly are not. The stress of making sure our business is not connected in anyway with our home address. The new worry that the neighborhood will be notified that an SO is living here.
This comment on a forum struck me.
"Sorry you’re going through this but also thank you for not kicking out your kid and disowning him. I’ve seen that happen to many times to younger people."
It truly made me sad. No matter how difficult this all is, I could not imagine disowning him or not allowing him to live here. Yes this is going to be incredibly hard. Especially if the whole neighborhood finds out. But we will get through this. We will get through this together. Yes family and friends may decide they do not want to be a part of our lives anymore. That will be hard. But not supporting our son would be even harder.
He did something incredibly stupid. But if God can still love him and forgive him then who I am to judge him? It is not my place to judge. I do not have the authority to judge a person for mistakes and sins. The charge I have been given is to love and forgive.
And that is what I intend to do.
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