Points of joy

About 10 years ago the diamond fell out of my wedding ring while we were camping. I discovered it on the way home and was legit inconsolable, we went back to search for it. I don't have a big stone, I never wanted one, so that made it harder to find. By some miracle we found it in the sheets of our bed. When we got home Hubby had to cut the ring off of my finger which of course did not go over well. I started wearing my 5th anniversary ring as a replacement until we could afford to get it fixed. Never realizing we would go through some difficult years making it impossible.

Fast forward to yesterday when I open a music box engraved with a quote that we have signed every card and letter with, playing You are my Sunshine, which is the song we sung with the boys from the time they were babies. Que the beginning of ugly cry. The next box did me in completely. I could not get my anniversary ring off fast enough.

This year was our 30th wedding anniversary. I can't imagine spending my life we anyone else.

M called yesterday evening as well. He sounded good. They got ham and hot chocolate for dinner. They have been building plexiglass barriers (Covid) in wood shop and he said they finally finished those so now he can get back to building other things. The parole hearing in DC is January 13th, so hopefully that will go well.

 

Christmas Apart

 The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. The Christmas tree was decorated with memories and love. Something was missing though. Someone is missing. Like the strand of lights that are out. There is a part of us not here. 

Granted this is not for a reason that is honorable. But be that as it may, there is still a hole where he should be. 

The stockings are hung except one hangs empty. I could not bear to not put it up. 

The Christmas tree is decorated and even contains the ceramic hand that was made when he was a child. But there is a strand of lights that are out. It seems almost fitting, really.

No big family Christmas this year. The pandemic solved that awkwardness. It is what it is.  

Wishing everyone a blessed Holiday Season. No matter where or how you celebrate.

Hugs

One of the things I miss the most about M is his hugs. He was always the most affectionate child. Always ready with a huge hug and an "I love you Mom". As a baby he was the sleep one who would snuggle close and fall asleep in my arms. He would just climb into my lap for snuggles at random times.

Our oldest and youngest are not like that. LOL! 

Our oldest is a rare one to give a hug and never initiates it. He was the baby who would twist and turn and push away from you even at birth. He gives side hugs and is much more serious. He is so much like his father.

Our youngest is a bit different. He is highly empathetic and emotional. But he tries to hide it. He hates that he is so emotional. When he was little he would yell at us if his brothers got in trouble. He has never been that terribly affectionate but would tolerate a hug. 

There has been a change in our youngest this past year. J will often walk up to me and ask if I want a hug! This is so unlike him. I am wondering if M said something to him. Or if his empathy knows that Mom just needs a hug.  

He gives huge hugs like M. 

I like this change in him.