Well Christmas has come and gone. The kids were all here which was nice. It seemed a bit chaotic but I think that is to be expected. It was all a blur. It did not help that Hubby and I were coming down with Covid. Lovely Christmas present. The last few days have been spent being miserable.
And onto other news, the crazy bitch has struck again. She apparently contacted our DIL. Another fire for us to put out.
That is the only word I can come up with. The woman is insane. She ordered the trial transcript. She is upset that we blocked her from our Facebook business page since we did not want her to bad mouth us to the public.
I can't believe this is still happening. She is such a nasty person.
My heart is broken
Yesterday I was ready to explode. I don't think I have ever been so angry or so full of hate as I was yesterday.
M called on his way home from work. He was called by the county sheriff and told that he needed to come in so they could set up a profile with them.
Bit of a back story, we live 20 min from another state and he works in that other state. He had called the county sheriff when he got the job to find out if he needed to register with that state and how to go about doing that, since he is registered in our home state. They told him since he was already registered in our home state he did not need to register there.
Fast forward to yesterday. He gets to the office and they don't have time to see him but they mention that there had been an anonymous tip and they needed to do a profile on him so to come back Monday.
An anonymous tip. Like we don't know who that was. The malicious C that is my SIL.
I started a study in my Bible app last week on forgiveness. I actually missed yesterday and I am glad because it made today, which was supposed to be yesterday, very fitting and I was able to receive it in the way that I should have.
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do"
That was Jesus asking God, our Father to forgive those who were murdering him. If He can do it, surely I can. No it is not easy! Far from it. But it is worth it for the feeling that I have today.
"Jesus teaches us that even in moments of great pain, it is important to seek forgiveness for those who have hurt us. This request helps keep us from becoming trapped in bitterness and blame, granting us the freedom to move forward." ICF Munchen "Forgiveness and Reconciliation"
Forgiveness is so incredibly important to our well being and mental state.
"Be Still and Know"
What do you want from us?
Do you want us to apologize for not telling you as soon as we knew?
Honestly there is no point. Nothing we tell you, obviously, is going to change what happened or how you feel.
You complain about how you have lost your family and you can’t trust us. You did that to yourself. Do you think we have not lost a family? Do you think your wife texting/calling everyone to make sure they knew about what M did was going to ensure that we would have a relationship with anyone in our family?
Oh but that’s right, we did YOU wrong. You are the ones that have to suffer the burden of a child who went to prison for something unimaginable. You are the ones who had to try to explain to the family what happened while still trying to keep the family together. You were the ones who had to go through a child who did this. You are the ones who have to live with this.
But you are the ones who were betrayed because we did not tell you as soon as we knew what he had done, even though it had absolutely NOTHING to do with you. M has never and never would touch or do anything to your daughter. M does not even know where you live.
There was a comment made at the court martial by the prosecutor which was objected by M’s lawyers. That is the only mention of a niece.
The communications that were found in chat were fragments. He was being led to say things by the person/sting. Do I defend M? Hell no! There is no excuse for what was said or what he viewed.
You have no idea what we have been through the last few years. The pure hell we have been living through.
But you expect that we should have involved you in everything from the moment that we knew what he was being investigated for? From the very moment that we were told?
Well ok. I am sorry we did not tell you as soon as we got off the phone or left the court room. Because you are the only one who matters. YOUR family is the ONLY one impacted by this. Oh wait! Your family was NOT impacted by this. You just have this perceived thought that it does. That because you have a daughter who loved our son but was never around him alone or even for very long, that this is about you. That because he works “close” to where you live that he is stalking her? Even though he does not know where you live?
I am sorry your daughter feels like a victim, but that is not because of us. You were the ones who had her read the appeal.
I am sorry you feel like we should have involved you from the moment we knew, but that was not your decision to make. It was ours. And when your children grow up I hope you never have to make such a decision. I hope your children grow up perfect and you never have to go through what we have gone through.
I am sorry that we no longer have an extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins. But I will be honest and say that we have never been close and ever since our boys were young you judged them and made them feel less than. From RJ being berated for smoking, even though your own wife smoked, to your wife losing her shit because MJ posted a meme that your wife disagreed with and then blocking us all when Trump won the election in 2016, to again going ballistic when he won this year.
After serving almost 3 years in prison and 9 months of probation, M has served his time. He underwent psychological testing and therapy during that time and the therapist gave him a .001% chance that he would reoffend.
We can’t fix the issues you have with us. But you can and you should fix the issues you have with your parents. They did nothing wrong but support our family, just as they would support yours.
You don’t have to worry about us going to family events. We will not. We have always felt like the black sheep of the family so it is nothing new to us.
Goodbye
Our Christmas will be a lot smaller this year. I enjoyed having a large family while I had it, but I am fine with a small family, it's what I grew up with.
Our SIL has gone and called the rest of the family to tell them about M. They knew about him but she found his appeal papers and they go into detail without context or explanation. So we will be staying home this year.
She also found out where he works. His company accepts him. They did a background check and he actually told them before they hired him. But she swears he works too close to where they live and that M is somehow stalking their daughter. He does not even know where they live! If she causes him to lose his job, WE will go nuclear. I don't know if she knows about the girlfriend but I suspect if she does we can expect her to try to ruin that.
There is a demon sitting on that woman. What kind of person does this?
The SIL and BIL strike again.
The same SIL and BIL who accepted M at the beginning of November have decided our family and Hubby's parents are in the wrong and we will not see them for Christmas. Or ever.
Long story short, apparently the wrong side won the election and because we voted for the wrong side they were going to cut us all off. They called my in-laws and told them not to expect them for Thanksgiving and that they would not see them for Christmas because my FIL got into it with my BIL at one of the kids basketball games. A week later my BIL apologized and the in laws were back to going to the kids games and events. Well, my SIL did not like that. She decided to go nuclear. She texted my MIL a nasty message saying that she had seen M on FB and then sent my MIL M's appeal paperwork that she had found online. Accusing my in-laws of lying to them and submitting their children to M. And that they (the in-laws) knew and that they should have told them. And that the in-laws were at fault and they would not be allowed to see the kids. It went on quite a bit and was very nasty.
She called Hubby in a bad way. Distraught and not knowing what to do.
My MIL has adult onset CF. She is not doing well right now. She is resistant to most antibiotics and needs to have them intravenously when it gets this bad. She told Hubby that there was no point to getting them anymore.
Hubby messaged his brother and wife yesterday to throw himself on the sword. Taking blame and trying to convince them that my in-laws had knew nothing. Which they did not. None of us did.
It has gotten nasty. Why would my SIL decide to go searching for M's case again? She is just crazed enough that this is her way of getting back at my in-laws. This is all she has. This is her silver bullet. We voted the wrong way.
We are taking defensive measures on our own. We have all blocked her and my BIL on FB and I have blocked them from our business page. I think she could get M kicked off FB. But if she goes after the business there will be a problem.
I don't know what else to do. We have already decided we are done with them. They will NOT destroy my family! I do hope they forgive my in-laws.
