The letter that will never be sent

 

What do you want from us?

Do you want us to apologize for not telling you as soon as we knew?

Honestly there is no point. Nothing we tell you, obviously, is going to change what happened or how you feel. 

You complain about how you have lost your family and you can’t trust us. You did that to yourself. Do you think we have not lost a family? Do you think your wife texting/calling everyone to make sure they knew about what M did was going to ensure that we would have a relationship with anyone in our family?

Oh but that’s right, we did YOU wrong. You are the ones that have to suffer the burden of a child who went to prison for something unimaginable. You are the ones who had to try to explain to the family what happened while still trying to keep the family together. You were the ones who had to go through a child who did this. You are the ones who have to live with this.

But you are the ones who were betrayed because we did not tell you as soon as we knew what he had done, even though it had absolutely NOTHING to do with you. M has never and never would touch or do anything to your daughter. M does not even know where you live.

There was a comment made at the court martial by the prosecutor which was objected by M’s lawyers. That is the only mention of a niece.

The communications that were found in chat were fragments. He was being led to say things by the person/sting. Do I defend M? Hell no! There is no excuse for what was said or what he viewed.

You have no idea what we have been through the last few years. The pure hell we have been living through.

But you expect that we should have involved you in everything from the moment that we knew what he was being investigated for? From the very moment that we were told?

Well ok. I am sorry we did not tell you as soon as we got off the phone or left the court room. Because you are the only one who matters. YOUR family is the ONLY one impacted by this. Oh wait! Your family was NOT impacted by this. You just have this perceived thought that it does. That because you have a daughter who loved our son but was never around him alone or even for very long, that this is about you. That because he works “close” to where you live that he is stalking her? Even though he does not know where you live?

I am sorry your daughter feels like a victim, but that is not because of us. You were the ones who had her read the appeal.

I am sorry you feel like we should have involved you from the moment we knew, but that was not your decision to make. It was ours. And when your children grow up I hope you never have to make such a decision. I hope your children grow up perfect and you never have to go through what we have gone through.

I am sorry that we no longer have an extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins. But I will be honest and say that we have never been close and ever since our boys were young you judged them and made them feel less than. From RJ being berated for smoking, even though your own wife smoked, to your wife losing her shit because MJ posted a meme that your wife disagreed with and then blocking us all when Trump won the election in 2016, to again going ballistic when he won this year. 

After serving almost 3 years in prison and 9 months of probation, M has served his time. He underwent psychological testing and therapy during that time and the therapist gave him a .001% chance that he would reoffend.

We can’t fix the issues you have with us. But you can and you should fix the issues you have with your parents. They did nothing wrong but support our family, just as they would support yours.

You don’t have to worry about us going to family events. We will not. We have always felt like the black sheep of the family so it is nothing new to us.

Goodbye