I got a call from child services today. Not for our kids or grand kids but for my nieces (?) twins. I was not surprised. Well maybe a little.
My sister and I have never been very close. She is 6 years younger than me and we are complete opposites. I was probably not the best big sister. I was incredibly jealous of her. It could be because I was in foster care when my mother got pregnant with her. My mother was obsessed with her father and became so depressed when he left her that she put me in foster care to recover. I came home, well, grandma and grandpas home to find her very pregnant and suddenly I had to share what little of her that I had. I did not have a Dad that I knew but my sisters dad was very present in her life and still is. Anyway, she was our mothers favorite and I wanted nothing to do with her. That did not change really. But it really did not matter she was a little kid when I moved out and got married and went on to live my life.
Hubby and I bought our first home and had our first son, RJ. My mother and sister came to visit and more than once were sent back home angry. When I became pregnant with our second child, suddenly my sister was pregnant as well. A druggie, looser that my mother allowed to move in with them was the father. We finally had something in common, we were having babies at the same time! My niece, AL was born two weeks before MJ and our mother was thrilled. She finally had a grand daughter! Mine were boys and she did not like boys.
A bit of back story, when AL was born she inhaled the meconium. We were horrified! My mother was less so. Swearing up and down that the doctors had tested her and she was fine.
Time passed and they would visit. My mother always catered to my niece who could do no wrong. But we started to see, pretty early on, that she was not like her cousin, MJ. She was slower to walk and talk. The milestones were not met. We mentioned to my mother and sister that they might want to have her checked out, there was something wrong. To which they both swore up and down that there was nothing wrong with her. Except when we tried to treat her like she was one of our own and if she did something bad, like drop a chocolate donut face down on the floor and refuse to clean it up saying she did not do it while she ate the donut. Then we were in the wrong and had to no right to ask her to clean up after herself in our home. They both continued to deny anything was wrong with her until my mother and sister had a falling out. Then my mother started saying that she could not be treated as her age since she was not normal. This was news to us.
Fast forward a few years, my sister is no longer speaking to my mother because she was a horrible mother and she ruined AL. I was privy to this 1:30 am screaming attack as I was visiting mom at the time. Granted our mother was not a good mother. She will readily admit she never should have had kids and has even thoughtfully ruminated on how much better her life would have been if she had aborted me. Yeah, so not mother of the year. But she did her best, I think.
At that time AL was living with her mother, my sister. My sister had lived with my mother until AL was 7. I was living my life, raising three sons 4 hours away and pretty removed from it all until one of them would call to vent. A few years later, AL was kicked out and she went to live with my mother. My sister was obviously going for mother of the year as well.
My mother was not the best grandmother either. Pretty much anything AL wanted she got. As a young adult my mother would drive her to meet up with boys and would have boys over for sleep overs. To which my mother would swear AL was on birth control and nothing would happen. All while trying to get her on disability because AL could not work, she was suddenly autistic, schizophrenic and had hip dysplasia and would have seizures where she would zone out. All of this was denied to hubby and I while she was growing up.
AL suddenly decided she was no longer a she as she was convinced by online boards that she was a he. This delusion still exists. She moved out to live with another person who decided he was no longer a he until AL was kicked out of there. She moved back in with my mother and shortly after she had a boy living there as well, although she still claimed she was a he. My mother complained to us that this boy had moved in and could not seem to tell him to move out. When we told her to just kick him out she complained that he had just gotten a job close and she could not do that. Eventually what we knew would happen happened. Even though AL was "on" birth control she got pregnant. My mother lost and and sold her house and moved closer to us (joy) forcing AL to move back in with her mother.
My mother found the birth control pills hidden behind the bed when she moved. AL was desperate to get pregnant and lied to my mother to do it.
We tried to convince her to place the baby up for adoption. She was/is not mentally capable of raising a child. My sister messaged me and it was no longer one baby but two! Again I advised my sister and niece to place the babies up for adoption, but my sister was thrilled, she was going to be a grandma. I pushed on multiple occasions and finally washed my hands of the whole thing. I had my own problems with MJ.
The babies were born and my mother suddenly decided she really did want to be a great grandmother. So she attempted to insert herself into their lives through AL. All seemed to be going ok. My sisters father bought them a single wide trailer to live in and he was helping out along with the people at the "church" that AL was a member of. AL determined the girls were going to call her Daddy and made sure everyone called her their daddy. The girls were determined to be developmentally disabled. AL was still not working and my sister was working to jobs and coming home to a trailer full of babies and a daughter (?) who was keeping the babies clean but nothing else. This January my sister decided she had had enough and moved out. Leaving my mentally disabled niece to raise two 5 year olds. You can see where this is going and I am leaving out ALOT. Child services were called a couple of times. The final time the police showed up with CPS and they took the girls and tried to contact my sister and ask if she could tale them, she hesitated and said she would need to talk to her boyfriend first.
Fast forward to today. CPS called and asked if I was ALs aunt. They asked if we would be interested in taking the girls. They confirmed to me that they were not going to let my sister have them. They did not say it was because she herself had had CPS called on her a few times with AL. They did ask if we had ANY family who might take the girls.
We can't take them. My heart is broken for these little girls. They should have been adopted right at birth. We knew this was going to happen and I even told my sister it would happen. Even if we could take them, they would not let us have them because of MJ. They should have been adopted.
I told you this would happen. I hate being right. And now two little girls have their lives turned upside down because you wanted to be like me. You wanted to be a grandma and hell or high water you were going to get it. I am done with you. I am so incredibly angry. AL never should have had a baby. You knew it and I knew it. But when it came down to it you did not care.
