Sad that that is a goal now.
We went out for our oldest son's birthday today so we tried to not talk about his brother too much. Inevitably we did of course. It is hard not to. Unfortunately trying to work this all out mentally means lots of discussion.
Trying to determine who M told what and how much people know and who we felt we could trust with a small amount of the true story is a big deal now. We know of at least a couple of family members who will never speak to him or us again when they find out. Hopefully we are wrong, but we know them pretty well.
We are trying to figure out how to get some of his money to him so that he can buy paper and stamps to write us. We have access to his accounts so hopefully we can figure it out.
I heard a song on the radio the other day and these lyrics stood out to me:
"I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look, I'm not okay" (My Chemical Romance)
I need to listen to more uplifting music but this is the feeling right now. It will get better right? One day at a time.
The one friend/mentor who has walked through everything with me from the day after I found out, and who was sexually abused by her dad, gave me this advice about telling people: "You can always tell them later, but once you tell them, you can't take it back."
ReplyDeleteSometimes I did better on the days I just went ahead and cried than on the days I tried to fight it. But congrats for going out for your other son's birthday and focusing on him for a bit!
I just noticed that I have comments :)
DeleteI do agree about the telling. I want as few people as possible to know. We have a family that gossips though, so I expect them all to find out eventually. Sigh He will have a hard road when he gets home.