The Beginning of Hell

The story has changed. Stress and worry is life now.
Our Airman has screwed up. Not just a little mess up easy to fix, but big. Something that will change his and our lives forever. Something that shows you who your real friends are.
What happened?
Last summer he messaged us on Facebook.
"I am going through something and I need you guys to pray for me."
Nothing else. No amount of prying can get it out of him. Time passes and we get a call from Air force investigators. WHAT?
Finally we get it out of him that he is under investigation.
Did you do something? "Yes"
Did you hurt someone? "No"
Are you hurt? "No"
Do you need a lawyer? "The Air Force has given me one"
That's it.
More calls from investigators. We get nervous and ask if we should talk to them. There is no answer because his given lawyer is unresponsive. So we start calling around. We find a lawyer who will call our son and talk to him before we pay him $7000.
Our son finally calls us and talks to his dad per the lawyers recommendation. He does not want us to know. He is afraid we will forever look at him differently. That we will stop loving him and never forgive him.
How can our child ever think that!? How can any child think that his parents will stop loving him?
It's bad.
It's something we never would have suspected. How could you?
That Spring, shortly after returning from deployment, he was on a chat app and started to get messages sending him links. He clicked on the links that led him to Dropbox and to images no one should ever have access to. Child Porn. He was curious and he looked at them. Then he realized what he had done and deleted Dropbox and any images that had been downloaded. All of this happened over two weeks.
Two weeks. 
Most of the time it takes longer to ruin someone's life. Not in this case. Just the mention of it makes people turn away. It is a horrible thing.
The lawyer called us back. MJ had felt so guilty that when they called him in he immediately gave them a written confession, his cell phone and all passwords plus gave them permission to search his apartment. This is the kind of Man our son is. He knows when he does wrong and accepts the punishment.
Little did we know what was in store for us.
The lawyer reassured us and gave us hope that there was a chance he could get it dismissed etc etc. He had not been charged yet so there was still a chance. All of the promises lawyers give so they can get your money.
We decide to cancel our planned vacation and decide instead to drive 10 hours to visit our son. He tearfully reassured us that it was a mistake. He was so sorry. He was not interested in CP but had gotten curious. This would never ever happen again.
I believe him. We believe him. This boy does not and has never lied to us. He was the "good one" He wanted to be a hero from the time he was little. He believed in right or wrong. It's either black or white, there is no grey. The Eagle Scout. The son who is most like me. Sweet and emotional, always ready to give a hug, honest to a fault. This one one is the one under investigation.
We drive back home stunned but hopeful because we decide to hire the lawyer and he has given us hope.
Months pass. Our son is able to take leave and come home and visit the family. 90% of whom have no clue of our silent hell. We have determined to not tell anyone we do not have to in the hopes this will all pass.
Finally charges are filed. He is being court martialed. Our hearts are broken.
The lawyer tells us that now the real work can begin and he needs another $14,000 to fight for our son. Our son tells us his Air Force lawyers are changing so he really wants the paid lawyer. Of course we agree and put it on credit cards.
More time passes with little word from the lawyer until our son send us a plea deal he has been asked to sign. The plea deal is admitting guilt and no more than 18 months in jail. We hit panic mode and call the lawyer while I start researching possible defenses online. Our son calls us back, crying, "I did this. I am sorry. I screwed up" I send a message to the lawyer who tells us there is no hope.
Our son signs the plea.
To him it is black or white.
To us it is the nail in the coffin.
The only hope now is that the judge will take mercy and give him a short sentence.
The plea deal is denied. They want 3 years. He signs it. He is resigned to his fate.
Now we have to give the lawyers names of people who are close to us so they can ask for character witness letters and possible testimony. Names of people who do not know what he has done. Names of people who will now know what he has done.
Who will potentially judge us for what he has done. Judge us as being terrible parents, who did not teach our sons better. How could we let our son think that this was ok? Of course we have already judged ourselves and tried to figure out what we did wrong. What parent wouldn't?
The calls from the lawyer go out and the calls to us come in. "What did he do?"
We are surprised at the number of people who we thought would judge us the harshest instead tell us they will pray for us. And of course they would write letters. He is such a good person. We are dismayed to find that those who we thought we were closest to will not even call us back. The ones we vacation with, who we have known for over 15 years. Those are the ones who do not respond.
You find out who your true friends are when you go through something like this.
Now we wait.
The letters have been sent.
The hearing is in a week.
It is in the hands of the lawyer who has not proven himself to us and to a judge who does not know our son.
We wait and we pray.